


Peculiar and beautiful

by yuraxchan



Series: Snapshots!au [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Asexuality, F/M, First Kiss, Kim Jongin | Kai-centric, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 07:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: Jongin doesn’t want to be different.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This piece isn't about Jongin/Soojung's irl relationship at all.  
> It's Jongin's side of the Chanyeol/Krystal episode in Snapshots.  
> Title from a song from Loïc Nottet's new album.

Jongin knows he should have felt ecstatic that Krystal liked him. He knows, okay. But he doesn’t. Sure, she’s pretty and everyone likes her, but Jongin doesn’t. That’s the thing. Jongin doesn’t. It’s not her fault though, it’s mostly his. He just...doesn’t like people _like that,_ whatever that means. He just doesn’t imagine himself kissing anyone at all. His mom said it’s because he’s still young. He also watched a character say that he was too young and to busy to date once on TV so he used it as his excuse. It’s not far off the truth anyway, Jongin _is_ busy with school and dancing.

He doesn’t like the way Chanyeol was watching him though. He looked incredulous that Jongin rejected Krystal and it made Jongin feel uneasy. _Is it weird? Am I weird?_ , he thinks, confused. He reckons Chanyeol’s expression and painful words ( _“This isn’t right, Jongin. You were mean!”_ ) and it makes his skin crawl. What was Chanyeol’s problem? Jongin regrets his own words ( _“Go out with her if you have time to lose and see if I care!”_ ) but he was pissed and a little hurt that his so-called friend would reprimand him, and in public at that.

It became worst when Chanyeol and Krystal kissed, right there and then, in the middle of the class, in front of _Jongin_ . Jongin saw red. It was ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous. He felt disappointed by Krystal, didn’t she say she liked him? But here she goes kissing Chanyeol of all people— _Jongin’s friend_. He felt like kicking Chanyeol too. He knew Chanyeol didn’t like Krystal and that their kiss meant nothing but still. If he was his friend like he claimed he was, he shouldn’t have. He didn’t feel betrayed though, it wasn’t that, and it was probably worse.

Now that he’s home, Jongin mostly feels numb. He doesn’t know why he’s angry. He’s not even sure he’s angry at Chanyeol, really. He’s just...lost. _Why had it been so easy for Chanyeol to have his first kiss like that? In the middle of everyone? Like it was nothing?_ Jongin can’t imagine doing that. He doesn’t want to do that. He also doesn’t feel like kissing anyone and that thought scares him. He knows Sehun wants to kiss a girl too. His best friend really wants to date. And now that Chanyeol had his first kiss, he’s the only left _not wanting_ to have his first kiss.

In the following days, Jongin feels more alone than ever and it sucks. He can’t face Sehun and Chanyeol. He feels like he doesn’t belong with them anymore. For the first time in his life, Jongin is scared. He’s scared to _be different_. He’s also scared Sehun will leave him and hang out only with Chanyeol now that he had his first kiss. Helpless, Jongin gives the cold shoulder to Chanyeol, sure that he still wants to steal his best friend. Perhaps it had been his plan all along. A part of himself knows he’s being unfair and mean to Chanyeol, but it’s easier to be mad at Chanyeol and ignore his own confusion, it’s better to feel angry than afraid, it’s better to be _the mean one_ than _the weird one_.

Jongin doesn’t want to be different.


End file.
